New Pictures (Recent Events, Part I)

I have hand-drawn pictures that I will post in the near future, but for now, these Photoshop pics will do.

LONG TIME NO POST!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

It seems like it's been forEVER since I've posted ANYTHING on this blog.

NATHAN DECREE #71:

I shall start posting once again!!!!

Be back soon!

YAY!

My Toenail

...has fallen off.

You see, Hayden managed, somehow, weighing only about 60 lbs., stepped on my toe last week, and bruised it. My mother, who is deathly afraid of feet, told me my toenail was going to fall out. Following that, she shuddered in disgust.

It was very loose. I won't mention the details, but it was pretty nasty every time I squeezed my toe.

I limped around on a bruised toe for about a week, and then, last night, my toenail fell out.

My mother will have nightmares for years to come.

P.S. CHECK MY FACEBOOK WALL FOR PICTURES IN THE NEAR FUTURE...

Music

Music is something that my brain just likes.

Don't ask me why, unless you're willing to pay for my brain scan.

I just like it.

Perhaps it's because my dad loves it.

Perhaps all of those years listening to Depeche Mode and "Head Like a Hole" by Nine Inch Nails have stimulated my neurons to like music.

I don't know.

I just like it.

But I don't like one kind of music over another.

Actually, I like all types of music over rap.

Rap is just stupid.

I don't like it.

At all.

Seriously.

ANYWAYS...

Music is an art. I've always been drawn to art of all kinds. Particularly sketching, painting, and music.

Music is probably number two next to sketching. I really enjoy sketching.

But back to music. Music is one of my favorite kinds of expressions. Through the different layers and textures, one can create an amazing song that reflects one's own personal views OR shows off their compositional skills.

Whatever.

Either way, I love music.

If I wasn't afraid of becoming a superbly talented yet psycho musician who ends up dying a horrible death, I would become a musician. I would like to break the mold of the typical music style of today and create something that people ACTUALLY LIKE, IS GOOD, AND IS POPULAR. People don't REALLY like rap and hip-hop. They just want to fit in with everybody else.

However, I don't expect to become a musician any time soon.

If Elmo Ruled the World...

• Mr. Noodle would be his henchman
• Elmo would use his crayon to tag famous buildings with his name
• the "Elmo's World" segment on Sesame Street would send the other puppets a-packin'
• the Cookie Monster would eat more cookies
  
• Big Bird would work at an 80's style hair salon
• Ernie would pursue his love for rubber duckies and work in a factory
• Bert would send daily complaints to Quaker oatmeal
• Count von Count would be a blood-sucking math teacher in West L.A.
• Oscar would continue his current lifestyle
• Snuffleupagus would work in the back at Bird Bird's salon
• Grover would just disappear from modern society, attempt a rebellion, and fail
• Kermit would continue work with the Muppets (lucky...)
  

• Sparta would be the capital of the world

Life would stink. For everyone.

Super-Nate: GOOD or EVIL?

Wayneman has an alter-ego, so why can't I have one?

Of course, the first thing one should ask while creating an alter ego is: What am I like in real life?

A picture says a thousand words:


There. Step one completed. Step two: good or eeeeeeevilll?

Let's try "good" first.

Step three: what type of super?

How about an everyday hero? Nato Seal: protecting your country with guns and explosives. Yeah, this guy's using grenades.

What about a beefed up version of that?
Nater Chief: blowing up aliens to make your world a better place.

How about a typical super hero?
Snider-Man: using his webs of justice to fight crime.

Or what about the freakingly awesome robo-hero?

Nato Man: using super awesome technology to save the world.

Or what about the tortured, uncontrollable beefy dude?
The Incredible Nulk: destroying your city and then the bad guys, 'cause he's one angry dude.

Or maybe the wise old mentor who's really awesome when he's not talking in riddles?
Nyoda: using the Force to be really short, yet somehow awesome.

Let's go back to step 2, except, let's say I chose EEEEEEEEVILLLLL!

Now, what type of evil?

Maybe the brooding dude who only has two lines involving the word "Master," but who knows all sorts of cool ninja skills?
Darth Naul: saying "Master," "revenge," and "OUCH I JUST GOT CUT IN HALF" alot, and having awesome horns, facepaint, and ninja skils.

Or what about the guy who gets manipulated into becoming evil?
Darth Natotater: saying "I am your father," and "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" alot. Oh, and wearing a helmet.

Or maybe the mastermind behind all of the evilness?
Darth Natious: manipulating people. And saying "no...no...NO...YOU WILL DIE!" and "UNLIMITED POWAHHHH!" alot.





So many choices.

On the Topic of the New Word Verifications

The word verifs have become increasingly more word-like as of late. I am here to reveal the definitions of these verifications for those of you bamboozled by what the word "bunogam" means, as all of the following are real words. Fun Fact: Did you know that the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary?

1. falankst (fuh-lanxst)

n. complete anxst; teenager-ness

2. jactin (jack-tin)

n. a tin can in which all described as a donkey (see J) are placed

3. villmos (vill-mose)

n. the emotion that prompts villainy

4. reticl (ret-ick-uhl)

n. an aiming device

5. tyliv (tie-livv)

n. what keeps you alive in a situation where you should, by all means, be DEAD

6. innkism (in-kiz-m)

n. a statement one would hear in an inn

7. crousen (croo-zin)

n. going fast

8. Carfodepp (kar-foe-depp)

n. Johnny Depp’s car of choice

9. ineati (in-ee-tee)

Adj. being in Steven Spielberg’s “E.T.: The Extraterrestrial”

10. affal (ahh-full)

Adj. full of “AHHHH!”

11. ocisms (oh-sizz-ums)

n. an expression used in da ‘hood

12. imphogod (im-foe-god)

n. what someone in da ‘hood says to describe someone with a lot of knowledge

13. Iniantli (in-ee-ant-lee)

n. a city located in anthill #287694-F, Africa

14. inting (ent-ing)

v. taking four hours to say “hello” in Entish

15. kaimit (kie-mitt) or (kay-mitt)

v. to make a commitment in da ‘hood

16. iMaker (eye-may-kurr)

n. Apple’s new program with which people make things

17. bucul (boo-cool)

n. the African way of saying “be cool”

18. Phroure (frow-er)

n. a shower that comes with a free Philly cheese steak sandwich

19. uneudeas (you-new-dee-uhss)

n. the dyslexic way of saying “new ideas”

20. Muslya (mooz-lee-uh)

n. the land of the Muslims

21. enoide (ee-noyd)

Adj. annoyed over the internet

22. ingnon (eeng-non)

n. a Chinese term of endearment

23. dingerb (deeng-erb)

n. a plant that dings when you shove it up your nose

24. shall (shall)

n. will in the future

25. thnen (thuh-nen)

n. the Elvish term for “did you see that freaking jerk just cut me off”

26. choshom (choe-shahm)

n. Native American term for the above statement, plus: “get ready to eat my dust, you moron”

27. fusheces (foo-she-sees)

n. the African term for the scientific term for intestinal excretions

Copyright © 2009 Merriam-Webster, Inc.

I am officially desperate for video games.

I have reverted to and beaten Amber: Journeys Beyond in three days of play. This Windows 95 PC game has amazing graphics, even for our time, but most of the time, nothing moves. I repeat:

YOU CANNOT INTERACT WITH MOVING OBJECTS.

So, basically, its about you going to check on Roxy, a paranormal scientist, who lives at an old house because of its reputation for being haunted. When you arrive at the house IN A CUTSCENE, a giggling water apparition drives you into the freaking lake. Somehow, you start off on dry land, with the car still in the water. Roxy's in the garage, hooked up to a psychedelic ghost-world headset, unconcious, and, apparently, you have to send ghosts into the freaking beyond JUST TO TURN OFF THE HEADSET.

From then on it's future technology according to 1996, ghostie spooks, rooms flooding as you watch through a surveillance camera, but being perfectly dry when you click your way up the stairs and into it, using weed killer that completely pixel-dissolves weeds in, like, 2 frames, cheating by looking up a walkthrough online because you can't figure out what THE HECK to do with a radio that blares 1940's music...

And then dying.

And then basically being told to get the heck out of the beyond, and being told the password to Roxy's computer before you go (are all ghosts good hackers?).

And then using the computer to get the headset ready to shut off.

And then sticking the new, even more psychedelic headset you've been using on Roxy's old one, sprinting out of the garage (CUTSCENE), then watching the garage blow up with Roxy in it.

And then she walks out of the smoke unscathed (Roxy was filmed for this... cheaters.), and asks you where you parked the freaking car.

THE END.

TAH DAH!

FIN.

HAVE A NICE REST OF YOUR LIFE BEING UNSATISFIED WITH THE ENDING OF A GAME YOU WORKED YOUR BUTT OFF TO FINISH.

Woopity-freakin'-doo.

Twi-Wipe

Why?

Why?!

WHY?!!

My mother is a Twie-hard, a Fanpire. I will rue the day that all four books are neatly placed on our bookshelf next to the Harry Potter series.

First I'm denied a Harry Potter movie, now THIS? How ironic that the series I dislike the most is placed next to my favorite, and by my own mother, who has read the first two volumes and is currently reading Eclipse, and has seen the Twilight movie. Why, I ask, is it, that every single girl and gay boy has read the entire series and seen the movie? WHY?

ARGH.

If all the toilet paper in the world was burned and could not be replenished...

wait. Scratch that.

If there was no toilet paper in the house, I would...

wait. Scratch that.

I use Twilight as toilet paper.

Frickin' sparkly vampires.

Sandy Claws is Comin' to Town

One amusing Christmas memory *

1. The Nutcracker (emphasis on NUT). see HERE.

Two theories why Santa chooses the chimney as his best means of entry *

1. Santa is a vampire. His coat, once white, is stained by the blood of his victims. He set a curse upon the planet to make all Christmas celebrators go to sleep earlier than usual so he can suck their blood. Everyone else is lucky. He feels guilty, though, so he gives kids presents. His real name is Vlad Sanduklaus, and he chooses a chimney as his entry because vampires can turn into bats, which are, I daresay, small enough to fly down a chimney.

2. Santa's brother, Lance Kringle, was a burglar/male model. Santa decided to return everything his strangely attractive brother stole one year, and his brother quit stealing people's crap, and became a full-time model, and later died in a bar fight. Santa, in his depression, ate for comfort, and put on 200 lbs. To help work off this weight, he decided to make an annual 'round-the world trip. He soon realized that he should do what his brother did, but in reverse, as a tribute to Lance. So, for a workout/reverse burglary, he uses the chimney as a means to measure his waist size, and in tribute to his lost, strangely attractive, burglar/male model brother, Lance Kringle.

Three things you want for Christmas *

1. Star Wars: Force Unleashed (XBOX 360)
2. New church clothes and shoes
3. Sanity

Four of your favorite Christmas movies *

1.Elf
2. A Christmas Story
3. (I don't know if this counts, but:) The Nightmare before Christmas
4. The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (both versions)

Five ways you've been naughty this year *

Hee hee. >=)

1. Pressed the EASY button too many times (that was easy)
2. Snuck video games one night and got busted. =O
3. Ate tangerines in great amounts
4. Acted like a tard
5. "Broke" every electronic device we own

Six ways you've been nice *

1. Worked for over 72 hours on service projects
2. Got good grades!
3. Grew peach fuzz
4. Helped adjust my brother's behavior *kick*
5. Didn't act like a tard in public
6. Roasted a chicken that didn't have a bag for the giblets (great first impression, huh?)

Seven people you suspect are elves *

1. My mother
2. Hayden
3. Chad
4. Napoleon (the French dude)
5. Orlando Bloom
6. Will Ferrel
7. TIMMY!

Eight of Santa's reindeer (no cheating) *

1. Nordic
2. Dickens
3. Gallant
4. Prodder
5. Manly
6. Tweaker
7. Taunter
8. Melon

Nine uses for snow *

1. Getting frostbite
2. Sticking your tongue to a pole
3. Dreaming about it when you live in So. Cal
4. Peeing in it ("don't eat yellow snow")
5. Eating it
6. Snowmen
7. Pretending you're a commando on a reconnaissance mission
8. Chucking it at squirrels
9. Using nose drippings as chopsticks

Ten least favorite things about Christmas *

1. Artery clogging after egg nog
2. Familiarity with men in tights
3. Joy
4. Missile toes
5. Elves
6. Figgy pudding
7. "Happy holidays!"being the only politically correct thing to say to anybody
8. Frosty the Snowman
9. Feeling sick from all of the food that I didn't need but ate because I could
10. Having the Harry Potter movie pushed back half a year

Eleven word associations to "figgy pudding" *

1. jiggly pooting
2. noogie
3. putting
4. chop suey
5. whooping
6. piggy shooting (PIGGY CATAPULT!!!)
7. moody
8. trampoline
9. flooding
10. cermudgen
11. scrooge

Twelve reasons you love Christmas *

1. Egg Clog
2. Candy Canes
3. Being an Elf on Christmas Eve
4. Roasting Chet's nuts on an open fire (Chet is our favorite squirrel)
5. Watching funny Christmas movies
6. Trying to find the most extravagant light display on a house (nicknamed the year's "Griswold House")
7. Greed
8. Nativity
9. Carols
10. I like Santa.
11. Delicious PIES!
12. Turkey



I like Christmas..............

AWESOMENESS!!!!

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE NEW TRAILER!!!!

*click here*

Though it is an awesome trailer, it's a bit of a slap in the face. It shows just how close the movie is to being finished, and yet, it's STILL 6 MONTHS AWAY.

GRR!

It took like three hours to get the shading on the upper lip.

I have recently been given back my art packet from my art class. Here it is!

Magic Mountain---CLOSED FOR SAFETY REASONS

Event:
8th Grade Field Trip

Location:
Six Flags Magic Mountain

Date:
Monday, December 15, 2008

Weather Conditions:
Rainy, chance of storm

Magic Mountain Status:
Closed

Field Trip Status:
Postponed

Replacement Date:
Unknown

"I need: A massage and a great hairstyle."

I Am: strangely attractive.
I Want: a delicious pie.
I Have: issues.
I Miss: Nor. Cal.
I Fear: the Mouth of Sauron.
I Hear: as well as my dad.
I Search: everywhere for the remote, and whoever asked me to find it is usually sitting on it.
I Regret: that I have pudgy cheeks.
I Love: being blissfully ignorant.
I Forgive: my brother for annoying the heck out of me on a daily basis.
I Ache: after playing goalie for hockey.
I Always: am awesome.
I Try: not to lose my marbles. Hey, where did they go?
I Am Not: a retard.
I Seem: like a retard.
I Know: everything.
I Feel: haaaaaappy.
I Dance: like an idiot.
I Dream: about being Harry Potter. (gotta lay off the books. and the movies.and the podcast.)
I Give: hugs to those who ask.
I Listen: to Muse almost every day. (thanks, Di!)
I Laugh: like an idiot.
I Can't: eat delicious caramels.
I Write: to make fun of Teenage Vampire books.
I Cry: when I want to (I can force myself to).
I Sleep: rarely.
I Am not always: normal.
I See: a computer screen.
I Need: I need, I need!
I Should: sell my freaking Pokemon cards.

o-(* . *)-o

MY Teenage Vampire Book

Unlike some people *cough* *cough* *lockbox**cough*, I have decided to place a preview of my book, which currently has no title. Here it is in all of its preview awesomeness:

i. Another Teenage Vampire

I don't hate Van Helsing. Dracula was way out of line. I'm not scared of vampire hunters. I just don't like running from them. Okay, I'm just gonna say it: I am another teenage vampire. There. I said it. You know all about Dracula, the famous Count from Transylvania whose biography was written by Bram S. Stoker. He's the most famous vampire there is. He was a European vampire. Those are the ones that are majorly allgergic to garlic, don't show up in mirrors, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I am an American vampire. I have a reflection , have a shadow, love garlic bread, and can walk around in broad daylight. But the major distinction is that I turn into a vampire with a huge collar and a widow's peak. Nah, just kidding about that. But I do turn into a vampire. My teeth, all of my not-molars, turn sharp. (I'm ashamed; my mom's a dentist and I still don't know what they're called.) That's it. No red eyes, no "Bleh! I vant to suck you're bluhd!" at all.

There are lots of kinds of vampires. Japanese vampires, AKA ninjas, are similar to European vampires, except that they don't have red eyes, they know cool martial arts moves, and they are allergic to rice. Mexican vampires, Chupacabras, only suck goat blood, and are really hairy. They freak out if you throw beans at them. You get the picture.

You're lucky to be reading this. Recently, the Vampiric Loss and Apprehension Association of Detroit, (V.L.A.D. or Vlad, as most vampires call it,) decided to set what they called a "purge of vampires" into the water supply. They created an elixir that would kill any vampire who drank it, and snuck it into the water circulation. Six vampires died. Luckily, a fellow vampire, Blake Makso, created a water substitute, which he nicknamed H4V, (Help For Vampires). I managed to survive on it.

Oh, this same dude discovered that I have "negative mass," which allows me to change gravity around myself at will. In other words, I can fall up, down, and sideways. When Blake measured my mass, the pointer went down instead of up. Voila, negative mass. Blake also discovered, through x-ray, (this guy's like my 'vampi-narian,') that I have three optic nerves in each eye, so I can measure anything just by looking at it. No wonder I kicked butt in Geometry. Also, my bones are like Kevlar: they're bulletproof and will never break.

One last thing. My name is Zeke Peter White. Friends call me Zip, or Zipper, because I run really, really, fast. All right, let's get started. From now on, I'll pop in every once in a while, to give you some extra tidbits. Zeke out.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To be a bit like Lockbox, that's all I'm gonna show you. Also included are: a Vlad agent named Von Deutshman that Zeke has for a history teacher, a vampire with braces, and more awesomeness!

Thanks for reading!

Charlie The Unicorn

Hollow Weiner

I know you like Halo, but dude, get a LIFE. Actually, I take that back. I WANT THAT. If you love being a dork, dress up as Boba Fett, Master Chief, a Stormtrooper, or Darth Vader for Halloween. It's a perfect outlet, because everyone else will be jealous of your cool costume, and you'll win the Best Costume contest, and that REALLY matters. If you lose a Halloween Costume Contest, you're a loser, 'cause you didn't spend $5,000 on a video game character costume, and someone else did, and THEY got bragging rights, and YOU didn't. Sheesh. But I don't have $5K. I'm a loser. I don't have a cool Master Chief costume. If I could, I would. Believe you me, if I could buy whatever I wanted for Halloween, THAT up there would be IT.

wOoT!!!

So Cute!

I simply had to post this picture of Ellie. I took this on a whim, and I'm glad I did!

Crappeth!

School is BACK!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! I am TIRED! I don't WANNA keep working! I'm already POOPED! Make it STOP! Why must this go on for ANOTHER year?!

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!

aaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhh!!!!

aarrgghhh...

argh.

Gar Shteve.