Sandy Claws is Comin' to Town

One amusing Christmas memory *

1. The Nutcracker (emphasis on NUT). see HERE.

Two theories why Santa chooses the chimney as his best means of entry *

1. Santa is a vampire. His coat, once white, is stained by the blood of his victims. He set a curse upon the planet to make all Christmas celebrators go to sleep earlier than usual so he can suck their blood. Everyone else is lucky. He feels guilty, though, so he gives kids presents. His real name is Vlad Sanduklaus, and he chooses a chimney as his entry because vampires can turn into bats, which are, I daresay, small enough to fly down a chimney.

2. Santa's brother, Lance Kringle, was a burglar/male model. Santa decided to return everything his strangely attractive brother stole one year, and his brother quit stealing people's crap, and became a full-time model, and later died in a bar fight. Santa, in his depression, ate for comfort, and put on 200 lbs. To help work off this weight, he decided to make an annual 'round-the world trip. He soon realized that he should do what his brother did, but in reverse, as a tribute to Lance. So, for a workout/reverse burglary, he uses the chimney as a means to measure his waist size, and in tribute to his lost, strangely attractive, burglar/male model brother, Lance Kringle.

Three things you want for Christmas *

1. Star Wars: Force Unleashed (XBOX 360)
2. New church clothes and shoes
3. Sanity

Four of your favorite Christmas movies *

1.Elf
2. A Christmas Story
3. (I don't know if this counts, but:) The Nightmare before Christmas
4. The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (both versions)

Five ways you've been naughty this year *

Hee hee. >=)

1. Pressed the EASY button too many times (that was easy)
2. Snuck video games one night and got busted. =O
3. Ate tangerines in great amounts
4. Acted like a tard
5. "Broke" every electronic device we own

Six ways you've been nice *

1. Worked for over 72 hours on service projects
2. Got good grades!
3. Grew peach fuzz
4. Helped adjust my brother's behavior *kick*
5. Didn't act like a tard in public
6. Roasted a chicken that didn't have a bag for the giblets (great first impression, huh?)

Seven people you suspect are elves *

1. My mother
2. Hayden
3. Chad
4. Napoleon (the French dude)
5. Orlando Bloom
6. Will Ferrel
7. TIMMY!

Eight of Santa's reindeer (no cheating) *

1. Nordic
2. Dickens
3. Gallant
4. Prodder
5. Manly
6. Tweaker
7. Taunter
8. Melon

Nine uses for snow *

1. Getting frostbite
2. Sticking your tongue to a pole
3. Dreaming about it when you live in So. Cal
4. Peeing in it ("don't eat yellow snow")
5. Eating it
6. Snowmen
7. Pretending you're a commando on a reconnaissance mission
8. Chucking it at squirrels
9. Using nose drippings as chopsticks

Ten least favorite things about Christmas *

1. Artery clogging after egg nog
2. Familiarity with men in tights
3. Joy
4. Missile toes
5. Elves
6. Figgy pudding
7. "Happy holidays!"being the only politically correct thing to say to anybody
8. Frosty the Snowman
9. Feeling sick from all of the food that I didn't need but ate because I could
10. Having the Harry Potter movie pushed back half a year

Eleven word associations to "figgy pudding" *

1. jiggly pooting
2. noogie
3. putting
4. chop suey
5. whooping
6. piggy shooting (PIGGY CATAPULT!!!)
7. moody
8. trampoline
9. flooding
10. cermudgen
11. scrooge

Twelve reasons you love Christmas *

1. Egg Clog
2. Candy Canes
3. Being an Elf on Christmas Eve
4. Roasting Chet's nuts on an open fire (Chet is our favorite squirrel)
5. Watching funny Christmas movies
6. Trying to find the most extravagant light display on a house (nicknamed the year's "Griswold House")
7. Greed
8. Nativity
9. Carols
10. I like Santa.
11. Delicious PIES!
12. Turkey



I like Christmas..............

"I need: A massage and a great hairstyle."

I Am: strangely attractive.
I Want: a delicious pie.
I Have: issues.
I Miss: Nor. Cal.
I Fear: the Mouth of Sauron.
I Hear: as well as my dad.
I Search: everywhere for the remote, and whoever asked me to find it is usually sitting on it.
I Regret: that I have pudgy cheeks.
I Love: being blissfully ignorant.
I Forgive: my brother for annoying the heck out of me on a daily basis.
I Ache: after playing goalie for hockey.
I Always: am awesome.
I Try: not to lose my marbles. Hey, where did they go?
I Am Not: a retard.
I Seem: like a retard.
I Know: everything.
I Feel: haaaaaappy.
I Dance: like an idiot.
I Dream: about being Harry Potter. (gotta lay off the books. and the movies.and the podcast.)
I Give: hugs to those who ask.
I Listen: to Muse almost every day. (thanks, Di!)
I Laugh: like an idiot.
I Can't: eat delicious caramels.
I Write: to make fun of Teenage Vampire books.
I Cry: when I want to (I can force myself to).
I Sleep: rarely.
I Am not always: normal.
I See: a computer screen.
I Need: I need, I need!
I Should: sell my freaking Pokemon cards.

o-(* . *)-o

"Three, pick number three, my lord!"

I've been tagged by my good ol' friend Jason McDaniel, my best babysitting employer. Ok, I've got to tell everyone a little more about myself.


THREE JOYS:

• Fooling around with my peeps.

---When it comes to just being plain silly, our little family comes in handy.

• School.

---I know this sounds wierd, but trust me, if school didn't exist, I wouldn't have any friends. It's probably my best social outlet.

• Technology.

---Yeah, it's a blanket term, but Blogging, Video Games, etc. are awesome.

THREE FEARS:

• Flunking school.

---I personally think that if I were to get held back, or if I were expelled, or something along those lines, I'd lose it. Just getting bad grades, or low points on an assignment make me crazy. I don't like to think how I would react to that.

• Breaking a bone.

---This might be a wee bit irrational, but I'm frightened of intense pain. Some things I can handle, like a punch to the face, a nice pile drive to the face, getting hit in the face with a soccer ball, (which seems to happen on a regular basis), or something like that, but intense pain; breaking a bone, getting my arms lopped of with a lightsaber, etc., I don't enjoy the freakish thought of.

• Looking stupid.

---If I end up looking like an idiot at the end of an argument I'm somehow involved in, it tends to kind of freak me out. I think I'm a little too comfortable with my status of looking smart so much that it scares me to think of what it would be like otherwise.

THREE SURPRISING FACTS:

• SUBTLETY IS MY MIDDLE NAME!!!

---Sorry I stole this quote, Wayneman. I have basically no subtlety when it comes to my sense of humor. (Most of the time.)

• I am attempting to beat Halo 3 on Legendary, While simultaneously working my way through Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords ( also known as: SW KotOR II)

---Yes, I'm a dork who plays video games, and, yes, I play Star Wars RPGs (Role Playing Games).

• I am a Jedi Knight.

---um...

I now tag Darth Maul, Hayden, Ashton Kutcher (see http://vancleaves.blogspot.com/2008/08/my-greatest-fear-realized.html), Lord Voldemort, and Barak Obama.

The Chad Tagged Me

5 things I did today:

1) Blew the crap out of aliens and giant zombie parasites in Halo 3.
2) Ate pork.
3) Ate cereal.
4) Sweated.
5) Smelled bad.

5 snacks I enjoy:

1) Pie (though I'm not sure this qualifies as a snack).
2) Nachos.
3) Grapes.
4) Chocolate.
5) Beans.

5 things I would do if I were suddenly a billionaire:

1) Stock up on a life supply of pie.
2) Buy an XBOX 360 Halo 3 Elite Version. With a Master Chief helmet.
3) Get a new sandproof silk cape.
4) Buy McDonalds and Microsoft to become ruler of the planet.
5) Make a lightsaber.

5 places I've lived:

1) Riverside, CA.
2) Escondido, CA.
3) Another apartment in Escondido, CA.
4) San Rafael, CA.
5) Santa Monica, CA.

5 jobs I've had:

1) Dishes.
2) Cleaning poop out of the toilet.
3) Taking out the smelly trash.
4) Professional Luchador [El Torta Amante (the Chad was my manager)].

5) Video Game nerd and mentor to my mother and her lacking Halo skills.

5 things people don't know about me:

1) I found a hidden skull in Halo 3.
2) I have an albino spot about the size of a grape on my back.
3) I'm only an inch shorter than my mom.
4) (This only applies to people that haven't seen me in a while) My voice is much lower than Hayden's now.
5) My uncle likes plums.

5 People I tag:

1) Diana
2) Hayden
3) Jack Black
4) Darth Vader
5) Ronald McDonald

My Mother (A Tag by Aunt Angie)

All about Mom:
1. What is something mom always says to you?
"Brush your dang teeth!"
2. What makes mom happy?
When we do what we're told. (or when we suck up to her just right)
3. What makes mom sad?
Ditto, but in reverse.
4. How does mom make you laugh?
Her height.
5. What was your mom like as a child?
Cooked and learned stuff awesomely.
6. How old is your mom?
33 & 3/4... but every birthday is an annual 29th for her.
7. How tall is your mom?
Tee hee. 4'10" and 3/4, my height almost exactly. (I'm 4'10")
8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Scrape crap out of people's mouths.
9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
Has a ton of fun w/ Hayden and Father. *snivel*
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
Duh. Dentistry excellence.
11. What is your mom really good at?
Scraping crap out of people's mouths.
12. What is your mom not very good at?
Strolling; she's so freakin' fast when she walks. (Or I'm just a dawdler)
13. What does your mom do for her job?
DER! D-E-N-T-I-S-T-R-Y (almost).
14. What is your mom's favorite food?
Ice cream. Contrary to popular belief, she prefers it over chocolate.
15. What makes you proud of your mom?
See numbers 8, 10, 11, and 13.
16. If your mom was a cartoon character who would she be?
Definitely (as a senior) Madame Foster from Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends.
17. What do you and your mom do together?
Stuff.
18. How are you and your mom the same?
Height.
19. How are you and your mom different?
I'm gonna be taller.
20. How do you know your mom loves you?
A gut feeling, deep down in my soul, somewhere, tells me.

I NOW TAG MAEBE! MWAHAHA!