New Pictures (Recent Events, Part I)

I have hand-drawn pictures that I will post in the near future, but for now, these Photoshop pics will do.

I am officially desperate for video games.

I have reverted to and beaten Amber: Journeys Beyond in three days of play. This Windows 95 PC game has amazing graphics, even for our time, but most of the time, nothing moves. I repeat:

YOU CANNOT INTERACT WITH MOVING OBJECTS.

So, basically, its about you going to check on Roxy, a paranormal scientist, who lives at an old house because of its reputation for being haunted. When you arrive at the house IN A CUTSCENE, a giggling water apparition drives you into the freaking lake. Somehow, you start off on dry land, with the car still in the water. Roxy's in the garage, hooked up to a psychedelic ghost-world headset, unconcious, and, apparently, you have to send ghosts into the freaking beyond JUST TO TURN OFF THE HEADSET.

From then on it's future technology according to 1996, ghostie spooks, rooms flooding as you watch through a surveillance camera, but being perfectly dry when you click your way up the stairs and into it, using weed killer that completely pixel-dissolves weeds in, like, 2 frames, cheating by looking up a walkthrough online because you can't figure out what THE HECK to do with a radio that blares 1940's music...

And then dying.

And then basically being told to get the heck out of the beyond, and being told the password to Roxy's computer before you go (are all ghosts good hackers?).

And then using the computer to get the headset ready to shut off.

And then sticking the new, even more psychedelic headset you've been using on Roxy's old one, sprinting out of the garage (CUTSCENE), then watching the garage blow up with Roxy in it.

And then she walks out of the smoke unscathed (Roxy was filmed for this... cheaters.), and asks you where you parked the freaking car.

THE END.

TAH DAH!

FIN.

HAVE A NICE REST OF YOUR LIFE BEING UNSATISFIED WITH THE ENDING OF A GAME YOU WORKED YOUR BUTT OFF TO FINISH.

Woopity-freakin'-doo.

Sandy Claws is Comin' to Town

One amusing Christmas memory *

1. The Nutcracker (emphasis on NUT). see HERE.

Two theories why Santa chooses the chimney as his best means of entry *

1. Santa is a vampire. His coat, once white, is stained by the blood of his victims. He set a curse upon the planet to make all Christmas celebrators go to sleep earlier than usual so he can suck their blood. Everyone else is lucky. He feels guilty, though, so he gives kids presents. His real name is Vlad Sanduklaus, and he chooses a chimney as his entry because vampires can turn into bats, which are, I daresay, small enough to fly down a chimney.

2. Santa's brother, Lance Kringle, was a burglar/male model. Santa decided to return everything his strangely attractive brother stole one year, and his brother quit stealing people's crap, and became a full-time model, and later died in a bar fight. Santa, in his depression, ate for comfort, and put on 200 lbs. To help work off this weight, he decided to make an annual 'round-the world trip. He soon realized that he should do what his brother did, but in reverse, as a tribute to Lance. So, for a workout/reverse burglary, he uses the chimney as a means to measure his waist size, and in tribute to his lost, strangely attractive, burglar/male model brother, Lance Kringle.

Three things you want for Christmas *

1. Star Wars: Force Unleashed (XBOX 360)
2. New church clothes and shoes
3. Sanity

Four of your favorite Christmas movies *

1.Elf
2. A Christmas Story
3. (I don't know if this counts, but:) The Nightmare before Christmas
4. The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (both versions)

Five ways you've been naughty this year *

Hee hee. >=)

1. Pressed the EASY button too many times (that was easy)
2. Snuck video games one night and got busted. =O
3. Ate tangerines in great amounts
4. Acted like a tard
5. "Broke" every electronic device we own

Six ways you've been nice *

1. Worked for over 72 hours on service projects
2. Got good grades!
3. Grew peach fuzz
4. Helped adjust my brother's behavior *kick*
5. Didn't act like a tard in public
6. Roasted a chicken that didn't have a bag for the giblets (great first impression, huh?)

Seven people you suspect are elves *

1. My mother
2. Hayden
3. Chad
4. Napoleon (the French dude)
5. Orlando Bloom
6. Will Ferrel
7. TIMMY!

Eight of Santa's reindeer (no cheating) *

1. Nordic
2. Dickens
3. Gallant
4. Prodder
5. Manly
6. Tweaker
7. Taunter
8. Melon

Nine uses for snow *

1. Getting frostbite
2. Sticking your tongue to a pole
3. Dreaming about it when you live in So. Cal
4. Peeing in it ("don't eat yellow snow")
5. Eating it
6. Snowmen
7. Pretending you're a commando on a reconnaissance mission
8. Chucking it at squirrels
9. Using nose drippings as chopsticks

Ten least favorite things about Christmas *

1. Artery clogging after egg nog
2. Familiarity with men in tights
3. Joy
4. Missile toes
5. Elves
6. Figgy pudding
7. "Happy holidays!"being the only politically correct thing to say to anybody
8. Frosty the Snowman
9. Feeling sick from all of the food that I didn't need but ate because I could
10. Having the Harry Potter movie pushed back half a year

Eleven word associations to "figgy pudding" *

1. jiggly pooting
2. noogie
3. putting
4. chop suey
5. whooping
6. piggy shooting (PIGGY CATAPULT!!!)
7. moody
8. trampoline
9. flooding
10. cermudgen
11. scrooge

Twelve reasons you love Christmas *

1. Egg Clog
2. Candy Canes
3. Being an Elf on Christmas Eve
4. Roasting Chet's nuts on an open fire (Chet is our favorite squirrel)
5. Watching funny Christmas movies
6. Trying to find the most extravagant light display on a house (nicknamed the year's "Griswold House")
7. Greed
8. Nativity
9. Carols
10. I like Santa.
11. Delicious PIES!
12. Turkey



I like Christmas..............

AWESOMENESS!!!!

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE NEW TRAILER!!!!

*click here*

Though it is an awesome trailer, it's a bit of a slap in the face. It shows just how close the movie is to being finished, and yet, it's STILL 6 MONTHS AWAY.

GRR!

It took like three hours to get the shading on the upper lip.

I have recently been given back my art packet from my art class. Here it is!

MY Teenage Vampire Book

Unlike some people *cough* *cough* *lockbox**cough*, I have decided to place a preview of my book, which currently has no title. Here it is in all of its preview awesomeness:

i. Another Teenage Vampire

I don't hate Van Helsing. Dracula was way out of line. I'm not scared of vampire hunters. I just don't like running from them. Okay, I'm just gonna say it: I am another teenage vampire. There. I said it. You know all about Dracula, the famous Count from Transylvania whose biography was written by Bram S. Stoker. He's the most famous vampire there is. He was a European vampire. Those are the ones that are majorly allgergic to garlic, don't show up in mirrors, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I am an American vampire. I have a reflection , have a shadow, love garlic bread, and can walk around in broad daylight. But the major distinction is that I turn into a vampire with a huge collar and a widow's peak. Nah, just kidding about that. But I do turn into a vampire. My teeth, all of my not-molars, turn sharp. (I'm ashamed; my mom's a dentist and I still don't know what they're called.) That's it. No red eyes, no "Bleh! I vant to suck you're bluhd!" at all.

There are lots of kinds of vampires. Japanese vampires, AKA ninjas, are similar to European vampires, except that they don't have red eyes, they know cool martial arts moves, and they are allergic to rice. Mexican vampires, Chupacabras, only suck goat blood, and are really hairy. They freak out if you throw beans at them. You get the picture.

You're lucky to be reading this. Recently, the Vampiric Loss and Apprehension Association of Detroit, (V.L.A.D. or Vlad, as most vampires call it,) decided to set what they called a "purge of vampires" into the water supply. They created an elixir that would kill any vampire who drank it, and snuck it into the water circulation. Six vampires died. Luckily, a fellow vampire, Blake Makso, created a water substitute, which he nicknamed H4V, (Help For Vampires). I managed to survive on it.

Oh, this same dude discovered that I have "negative mass," which allows me to change gravity around myself at will. In other words, I can fall up, down, and sideways. When Blake measured my mass, the pointer went down instead of up. Voila, negative mass. Blake also discovered, through x-ray, (this guy's like my 'vampi-narian,') that I have three optic nerves in each eye, so I can measure anything just by looking at it. No wonder I kicked butt in Geometry. Also, my bones are like Kevlar: they're bulletproof and will never break.

One last thing. My name is Zeke Peter White. Friends call me Zip, or Zipper, because I run really, really, fast. All right, let's get started. From now on, I'll pop in every once in a while, to give you some extra tidbits. Zeke out.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To be a bit like Lockbox, that's all I'm gonna show you. Also included are: a Vlad agent named Von Deutshman that Zeke has for a history teacher, a vampire with braces, and more awesomeness!

Thanks for reading!

Hollow Weiner

I know you like Halo, but dude, get a LIFE. Actually, I take that back. I WANT THAT. If you love being a dork, dress up as Boba Fett, Master Chief, a Stormtrooper, or Darth Vader for Halloween. It's a perfect outlet, because everyone else will be jealous of your cool costume, and you'll win the Best Costume contest, and that REALLY matters. If you lose a Halloween Costume Contest, you're a loser, 'cause you didn't spend $5,000 on a video game character costume, and someone else did, and THEY got bragging rights, and YOU didn't. Sheesh. But I don't have $5K. I'm a loser. I don't have a cool Master Chief costume. If I could, I would. Believe you me, if I could buy whatever I wanted for Halloween, THAT up there would be IT.

"Three, pick number three, my lord!"

I've been tagged by my good ol' friend Jason McDaniel, my best babysitting employer. Ok, I've got to tell everyone a little more about myself.


THREE JOYS:

• Fooling around with my peeps.

---When it comes to just being plain silly, our little family comes in handy.

• School.

---I know this sounds wierd, but trust me, if school didn't exist, I wouldn't have any friends. It's probably my best social outlet.

• Technology.

---Yeah, it's a blanket term, but Blogging, Video Games, etc. are awesome.

THREE FEARS:

• Flunking school.

---I personally think that if I were to get held back, or if I were expelled, or something along those lines, I'd lose it. Just getting bad grades, or low points on an assignment make me crazy. I don't like to think how I would react to that.

• Breaking a bone.

---This might be a wee bit irrational, but I'm frightened of intense pain. Some things I can handle, like a punch to the face, a nice pile drive to the face, getting hit in the face with a soccer ball, (which seems to happen on a regular basis), or something like that, but intense pain; breaking a bone, getting my arms lopped of with a lightsaber, etc., I don't enjoy the freakish thought of.

• Looking stupid.

---If I end up looking like an idiot at the end of an argument I'm somehow involved in, it tends to kind of freak me out. I think I'm a little too comfortable with my status of looking smart so much that it scares me to think of what it would be like otherwise.

THREE SURPRISING FACTS:

• SUBTLETY IS MY MIDDLE NAME!!!

---Sorry I stole this quote, Wayneman. I have basically no subtlety when it comes to my sense of humor. (Most of the time.)

• I am attempting to beat Halo 3 on Legendary, While simultaneously working my way through Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords ( also known as: SW KotOR II)

---Yes, I'm a dork who plays video games, and, yes, I play Star Wars RPGs (Role Playing Games).

• I am a Jedi Knight.

---um...

I now tag Darth Maul, Hayden, Ashton Kutcher (see http://vancleaves.blogspot.com/2008/08/my-greatest-fear-realized.html), Lord Voldemort, and Barak Obama.

I Beat Halo 3

Yes, I have beaten the final game in the Halo trilogy. It was freaking awesome. I'm gonna go back and do it again.

My Pie Obsession

Many that know me also know that I am obsessed with pie. Whenever pie is involved in any situation, my immediate response is, you guessed it: "PIE! PIE, PIE, PIE PIE,PIE,PIE! I LIKE PIE!" Aparrently, many new cartoons have been using the phrase, "I like pie!" For example, Hugh Neutron, from the cartoon about a boy genius with a head the size of the rest of his body, Jimmy Neutron, has recently developed a craving for pie. Also, this line was used by the pig in an episode of the cartoon extension of the movie Barnyard, Back at the Barnyard. I seem to have caught onto something. I love nearly all pies, but not cow pies. Turtle pie, a chocolate and caramel deliciousness, is my favorite kind of pie. So, that is my fun fact of the day. I LIKE PIE!

P.S. This isn't turtle pie, I just couldn't find a good picture of it.

Photoshop mania

this is a compiling of random photoshop pictures i made. enjoy!