On the Topic of the New Word Verifications

The word verifs have become increasingly more word-like as of late. I am here to reveal the definitions of these verifications for those of you bamboozled by what the word "bunogam" means, as all of the following are real words. Fun Fact: Did you know that the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary?

1. falankst (fuh-lanxst)

n. complete anxst; teenager-ness

2. jactin (jack-tin)

n. a tin can in which all described as a donkey (see J) are placed

3. villmos (vill-mose)

n. the emotion that prompts villainy

4. reticl (ret-ick-uhl)

n. an aiming device

5. tyliv (tie-livv)

n. what keeps you alive in a situation where you should, by all means, be DEAD

6. innkism (in-kiz-m)

n. a statement one would hear in an inn

7. crousen (croo-zin)

n. going fast

8. Carfodepp (kar-foe-depp)

n. Johnny Depp’s car of choice

9. ineati (in-ee-tee)

Adj. being in Steven Spielberg’s “E.T.: The Extraterrestrial”

10. affal (ahh-full)

Adj. full of “AHHHH!”

11. ocisms (oh-sizz-ums)

n. an expression used in da ‘hood

12. imphogod (im-foe-god)

n. what someone in da ‘hood says to describe someone with a lot of knowledge

13. Iniantli (in-ee-ant-lee)

n. a city located in anthill #287694-F, Africa

14. inting (ent-ing)

v. taking four hours to say “hello” in Entish

15. kaimit (kie-mitt) or (kay-mitt)

v. to make a commitment in da ‘hood

16. iMaker (eye-may-kurr)

n. Apple’s new program with which people make things

17. bucul (boo-cool)

n. the African way of saying “be cool”

18. Phroure (frow-er)

n. a shower that comes with a free Philly cheese steak sandwich

19. uneudeas (you-new-dee-uhss)

n. the dyslexic way of saying “new ideas”

20. Muslya (mooz-lee-uh)

n. the land of the Muslims

21. enoide (ee-noyd)

Adj. annoyed over the internet

22. ingnon (eeng-non)

n. a Chinese term of endearment

23. dingerb (deeng-erb)

n. a plant that dings when you shove it up your nose

24. shall (shall)

n. will in the future

25. thnen (thuh-nen)

n. the Elvish term for “did you see that freaking jerk just cut me off”

26. choshom (choe-shahm)

n. Native American term for the above statement, plus: “get ready to eat my dust, you moron”

27. fusheces (foo-she-sees)

n. the African term for the scientific term for intestinal excretions

Copyright © 2009 Merriam-Webster, Inc.

Twi-Wipe

Why?

Why?!

WHY?!!

My mother is a Twie-hard, a Fanpire. I will rue the day that all four books are neatly placed on our bookshelf next to the Harry Potter series.

First I'm denied a Harry Potter movie, now THIS? How ironic that the series I dislike the most is placed next to my favorite, and by my own mother, who has read the first two volumes and is currently reading Eclipse, and has seen the Twilight movie. Why, I ask, is it, that every single girl and gay boy has read the entire series and seen the movie? WHY?

ARGH.

If all the toilet paper in the world was burned and could not be replenished...

wait. Scratch that.

If there was no toilet paper in the house, I would...

wait. Scratch that.

I use Twilight as toilet paper.

Frickin' sparkly vampires.

It took like three hours to get the shading on the upper lip.

I have recently been given back my art packet from my art class. Here it is!

Magic Mountain---CLOSED FOR SAFETY REASONS

Event:
8th Grade Field Trip

Location:
Six Flags Magic Mountain

Date:
Monday, December 15, 2008

Weather Conditions:
Rainy, chance of storm

Magic Mountain Status:
Closed

Field Trip Status:
Postponed

Replacement Date:
Unknown

"I need: A massage and a great hairstyle."

I Am: strangely attractive.
I Want: a delicious pie.
I Have: issues.
I Miss: Nor. Cal.
I Fear: the Mouth of Sauron.
I Hear: as well as my dad.
I Search: everywhere for the remote, and whoever asked me to find it is usually sitting on it.
I Regret: that I have pudgy cheeks.
I Love: being blissfully ignorant.
I Forgive: my brother for annoying the heck out of me on a daily basis.
I Ache: after playing goalie for hockey.
I Always: am awesome.
I Try: not to lose my marbles. Hey, where did they go?
I Am Not: a retard.
I Seem: like a retard.
I Know: everything.
I Feel: haaaaaappy.
I Dance: like an idiot.
I Dream: about being Harry Potter. (gotta lay off the books. and the movies.and the podcast.)
I Give: hugs to those who ask.
I Listen: to Muse almost every day. (thanks, Di!)
I Laugh: like an idiot.
I Can't: eat delicious caramels.
I Write: to make fun of Teenage Vampire books.
I Cry: when I want to (I can force myself to).
I Sleep: rarely.
I Am not always: normal.
I See: a computer screen.
I Need: I need, I need!
I Should: sell my freaking Pokemon cards.

o-(* . *)-o

Crappeth!

School is BACK!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! I am TIRED! I don't WANNA keep working! I'm already POOPED! Make it STOP! Why must this go on for ANOTHER year?!

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!

aaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhh!!!!

aarrgghhh...

argh.

Gar Shteve.

CRAP!

School is starting on Tuesday. Here are my thoughts and/or feeling about going back:

• I feel like summer went too quickly


• School felt far off a few weeks ago


• I'll be glad to rekindle my social life


• I don't want to work


• I just started getting comfortable with vacation


• I'm at my most tired stage in vacation


• I'm feeling stressed because I have to try out for Concert Orchestra, which I hear is a really hardcore class, very unlike my old one


• I want something to do, and school fits that need


• Overall, very mixed feelings

*sigh*

"Three, pick number three, my lord!"

I've been tagged by my good ol' friend Jason McDaniel, my best babysitting employer. Ok, I've got to tell everyone a little more about myself.


THREE JOYS:

• Fooling around with my peeps.

---When it comes to just being plain silly, our little family comes in handy.

• School.

---I know this sounds wierd, but trust me, if school didn't exist, I wouldn't have any friends. It's probably my best social outlet.

• Technology.

---Yeah, it's a blanket term, but Blogging, Video Games, etc. are awesome.

THREE FEARS:

• Flunking school.

---I personally think that if I were to get held back, or if I were expelled, or something along those lines, I'd lose it. Just getting bad grades, or low points on an assignment make me crazy. I don't like to think how I would react to that.

• Breaking a bone.

---This might be a wee bit irrational, but I'm frightened of intense pain. Some things I can handle, like a punch to the face, a nice pile drive to the face, getting hit in the face with a soccer ball, (which seems to happen on a regular basis), or something like that, but intense pain; breaking a bone, getting my arms lopped of with a lightsaber, etc., I don't enjoy the freakish thought of.

• Looking stupid.

---If I end up looking like an idiot at the end of an argument I'm somehow involved in, it tends to kind of freak me out. I think I'm a little too comfortable with my status of looking smart so much that it scares me to think of what it would be like otherwise.

THREE SURPRISING FACTS:

• SUBTLETY IS MY MIDDLE NAME!!!

---Sorry I stole this quote, Wayneman. I have basically no subtlety when it comes to my sense of humor. (Most of the time.)

• I am attempting to beat Halo 3 on Legendary, While simultaneously working my way through Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords ( also known as: SW KotOR II)

---Yes, I'm a dork who plays video games, and, yes, I play Star Wars RPGs (Role Playing Games).

• I am a Jedi Knight.

---um...

I now tag Darth Maul, Hayden, Ashton Kutcher (see http://vancleaves.blogspot.com/2008/08/my-greatest-fear-realized.html), Lord Voldemort, and Barak Obama.

Wussy Paintballing. >=P

Yesterday, I went paintballing for the first time with the youth in our ward. We went at 5:30 pm, in L.A., on a Friday night. As you can imagine, however long MapQuest said it would take, it would really take twice as long to get there. We got to Hollywood Sports at 6:30. We then had to wait another hour for all of us to find each other, get our gear, and wait for the current match to end. When we got to the park, we saw guys in camoflauged Army jumpsuits, masks that looked like Master Chief, (see previous post) and paintball guns that looked like AK-47's. Our little group was wearing old college T's and hoodies, frumpy teal sweatshirts, grubbies, or Lake Michigan T's and blue jeans.

Wow.

So, when I put on the visor/helmet, I thought, "Whoa, I look like a commando," in my old, faded striped T-shirt, and faded, ripped-at-the-knees blue jeans.

?

So, we went into the instructional video kiosk, and found 10 minutes later that it was out of order, and that we needed to go to the next one down.

>:[

The video had intsructions like, 'Don't look down the barrel', 'don't bring drugs', 'don't take off your mask', and 'most importantly, just have fun.'

Gimme a break.

When we finally headed to the playing field, it was 8 freaking o'clock. The place was closing at 9 freaking o'clock. The administrator said we'd get to play two freaking games.

Grr...

When we started the first game, my heart was close to thumping out of my chest. I was breathing so hard that my visor fogged up in 2 minutes flat.

(:O

It was dark, my visor was fogged up, and the only distinquishing factor between teams was a dinky little piece of pink ribbon.

!!!

I was up in the sniper tower with a couple of teammates, when they started shooting at something. They were a couple of feet away. I had a better angle. I popped off a few rounds at the guy, then he shot a whole round at my face, but I ducked quick enough to see the ball with a smoke trail whizz above me, and smack into the tin wall across from me. Holy crap. I then found a little hidey hole, an opening between the tin sheet and the board holding it up, stuck my gun in it, popped off a round or two, and he ran away. However, I still hadn't plastered anybody.

>:I

After that round, I was totally fogged out I lika do da cha cha, I didn't even know who won, my adrenaline was making me jittery (I think I was a little shell shocked), and it was really dark.

<:[

This round, I just sat in a bunker trying to wipe off my visor without taking off my mask.

:/

It was fun, tiring, and adrenaline-filled, but everyone agreed we ought to do it again, but in the middle of the day.

<(+_+)>

I Beat Halo 3

Yes, I have beaten the final game in the Halo trilogy. It was freaking awesome. I'm gonna go back and do it again.

Go Figure.

Your Thinking is Concrete and Random

You are naturally inquisitive and curious. You're excited by new ideas, and you are a true independent thinker. You are interested in what is possible. You like the process of discovery. You are often experimenting, challenging old ideas, and inventing new concepts. Rules, restrictions, and limit don't really work for you. You have to do things your own way, and you can't be bothered to explain yourself.

What Kind of Thinker Are You?

The Chad Tagged Me

5 things I did today:

1) Blew the crap out of aliens and giant zombie parasites in Halo 3.
2) Ate pork.
3) Ate cereal.
4) Sweated.
5) Smelled bad.

5 snacks I enjoy:

1) Pie (though I'm not sure this qualifies as a snack).
2) Nachos.
3) Grapes.
4) Chocolate.
5) Beans.

5 things I would do if I were suddenly a billionaire:

1) Stock up on a life supply of pie.
2) Buy an XBOX 360 Halo 3 Elite Version. With a Master Chief helmet.
3) Get a new sandproof silk cape.
4) Buy McDonalds and Microsoft to become ruler of the planet.
5) Make a lightsaber.

5 places I've lived:

1) Riverside, CA.
2) Escondido, CA.
3) Another apartment in Escondido, CA.
4) San Rafael, CA.
5) Santa Monica, CA.

5 jobs I've had:

1) Dishes.
2) Cleaning poop out of the toilet.
3) Taking out the smelly trash.
4) Professional Luchador [El Torta Amante (the Chad was my manager)].

5) Video Game nerd and mentor to my mother and her lacking Halo skills.

5 things people don't know about me:

1) I found a hidden skull in Halo 3.
2) I have an albino spot about the size of a grape on my back.
3) I'm only an inch shorter than my mom.
4) (This only applies to people that haven't seen me in a while) My voice is much lower than Hayden's now.
5) My uncle likes plums.

5 People I tag:

1) Diana
2) Hayden
3) Jack Black
4) Darth Vader
5) Ronald McDonald

My Many Faces

Anyone that has taken a picture of me knows that I usually make a really strange face at least once. Here's to your tolerance. This is a compiling of the many strange faces I make (click on the picture to get a closer look):

My Mother (A Tag by Aunt Angie)

All about Mom:
1. What is something mom always says to you?
"Brush your dang teeth!"
2. What makes mom happy?
When we do what we're told. (or when we suck up to her just right)
3. What makes mom sad?
Ditto, but in reverse.
4. How does mom make you laugh?
Her height.
5. What was your mom like as a child?
Cooked and learned stuff awesomely.
6. How old is your mom?
33 & 3/4... but every birthday is an annual 29th for her.
7. How tall is your mom?
Tee hee. 4'10" and 3/4, my height almost exactly. (I'm 4'10")
8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Scrape crap out of people's mouths.
9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
Has a ton of fun w/ Hayden and Father. *snivel*
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
Duh. Dentistry excellence.
11. What is your mom really good at?
Scraping crap out of people's mouths.
12. What is your mom not very good at?
Strolling; she's so freakin' fast when she walks. (Or I'm just a dawdler)
13. What does your mom do for her job?
DER! D-E-N-T-I-S-T-R-Y (almost).
14. What is your mom's favorite food?
Ice cream. Contrary to popular belief, she prefers it over chocolate.
15. What makes you proud of your mom?
See numbers 8, 10, 11, and 13.
16. If your mom was a cartoon character who would she be?
Definitely (as a senior) Madame Foster from Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends.
17. What do you and your mom do together?
Stuff.
18. How are you and your mom the same?
Height.
19. How are you and your mom different?
I'm gonna be taller.
20. How do you know your mom loves you?
A gut feeling, deep down in my soul, somewhere, tells me.

I NOW TAG MAEBE! MWAHAHA!

Birthdays

As today happens to be my 13th Birthday, I find it only too fitting to do one of those abstract posts about some overlooked but well-known topics. This post will be divided into several sections, each concerning a different aspect of birthdays.

I. Traditions

A.)Presents. Who came up with the idea that just because the birthday boy or girl is coming one year closer to their eventual demise, they deserve some sort of toy or some abstract little doohickey that they don't know what do do with besides burn, suck on, or torture? I'm not complaining, of course; I love having more crap to play with.

But what I'm saying is, did someone think, "Hmm... Maybe I should give this kid a toy for being a year closer to being sent to a nursing home, because I don't want them to be cranky when that time comes. Maybe when their future children finally say, 'I'm sick of having to change your diapers; I'm gonna let someone else do that for me and send you to an old folks' home,' they'll look back on this moment and say, 'I'm glad I got a Malibu Barbie for my fourth birthday,' and not be grumpy about this."

B.)Cake. Why a cake? Is this a further branch of the strange tradition of presents? Why not pie? Pie is better anyway. Birthday cake tends to be too dry to be eaten comfortably. Maybe a serial killer working at a bakery came up with this one: "I hear that Joe Billy Bob, the man who stole my cookie as a child, his little boy is having a party commemorating his one year closer to being a cranky senior. I will bake a cake called a birthday-cake, sell it to Joe Billy Bob, and when he eats it, it will be so dry he will choke and turn purple. I like purple. It's my favorite color. Maybe I should put purple frosting on the cake." Whoa. That's one of the wierdest... never mind.

C.)Candles. Why do people insist on melting candles on the already disgusting cake, and say that if you blow it out and make a wish, it'll come true? Come on. Was fire discovered on a caveman's birthday? "Ug! Fwee-fwee! AH! Naga haga ah ka na hee! Toga haka wokkah!" ("Whoa! Fire! AH! Maybe we should put that stick that's on fire in my cake! Yeah, that's a good idea!") Uh...

II. My Birthday #13

A.)13. Why is 13 the unlucky number? Hmm? Why? I'm gonna open this up for discussion in the comments. I'm sure there will be some hilarious answers. BTW: Diana, why Michael Jackson's sister...?

B.)The way I see it. I have officially entered teenagehood. What the frick?! Last I remember, I was still a vibrant, not-foul, blissfully ignorant little boy! AAAAHHHHHH! I don't want to shave, wear deodorant and/or antiperspirant, and all that other stuff! I wanna be all normal!!! *sob* *sob* *sob* *SOB*

III. "Astrology"

I don't believe. As it is, I really don't think the stars affect our behavior. It really depends on our upbringing, our spirit, and what we choose to act like. Horoscopes are just myths that people enjoy reading for entertainment, or really do believe in for odd reasons. There are so many interpretations of horoscopes that it really seems far too differed to actually have any effect on my personal belief. But, of course, as I said, it's entertaining, and here's my horrifying Star Wars interpretation of my horoscope.

Star Wars Horoscope for Gemini

Like most Geminis, you are a playful little creature. You tend to be extremely curious, craving knowledge but sometimes having a short attention span. For the most part, you are charming and lovable. But at times, you can seem scattered and high-strung. Star wars character you are most like: Ewoks

What Is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

I AM NOT LIKE A FRICKIN' EWOK!!! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT!!!

My Pie Obsession

Many that know me also know that I am obsessed with pie. Whenever pie is involved in any situation, my immediate response is, you guessed it: "PIE! PIE, PIE, PIE PIE,PIE,PIE! I LIKE PIE!" Aparrently, many new cartoons have been using the phrase, "I like pie!" For example, Hugh Neutron, from the cartoon about a boy genius with a head the size of the rest of his body, Jimmy Neutron, has recently developed a craving for pie. Also, this line was used by the pig in an episode of the cartoon extension of the movie Barnyard, Back at the Barnyard. I seem to have caught onto something. I love nearly all pies, but not cow pies. Turtle pie, a chocolate and caramel deliciousness, is my favorite kind of pie. So, that is my fun fact of the day. I LIKE PIE!

P.S. This isn't turtle pie, I just couldn't find a good picture of it.

My stupid moments.

Ah. This. I have, as many know, my crazy moments. Here is one of them. I was supposed to be cleaning my room when I did this. Amazing, huh? If you look at my mouth, it looks like i'm saying "bad!"

Crazy Brother, Crazy Parents, Grumpy Me.

Just so you know, I haven't gone Emo, Goth, or any kind of freak since I last saw any of you. This blog is only making fun of the times when I'm grumpy, foul, freakish, stupid, etc. Despite the fact that I hate the world right now, life is fairly good right now. I'm taking steps to doing better in school, (as a tween, I act pretty stupid sometimes :P), I have friends, and I'm trying not to smack my brother upside the head every minute of the day! Yay! Whoo Hoo! Yah! Ha... hee hee... ooh. That's funny...