Super-Nate: GOOD or EVIL?

Wayneman has an alter-ego, so why can't I have one?

Of course, the first thing one should ask while creating an alter ego is: What am I like in real life?

A picture says a thousand words:


There. Step one completed. Step two: good or eeeeeeevilll?

Let's try "good" first.

Step three: what type of super?

How about an everyday hero? Nato Seal: protecting your country with guns and explosives. Yeah, this guy's using grenades.

What about a beefed up version of that?
Nater Chief: blowing up aliens to make your world a better place.

How about a typical super hero?
Snider-Man: using his webs of justice to fight crime.

Or what about the freakingly awesome robo-hero?

Nato Man: using super awesome technology to save the world.

Or what about the tortured, uncontrollable beefy dude?
The Incredible Nulk: destroying your city and then the bad guys, 'cause he's one angry dude.

Or maybe the wise old mentor who's really awesome when he's not talking in riddles?
Nyoda: using the Force to be really short, yet somehow awesome.

Let's go back to step 2, except, let's say I chose EEEEEEEEVILLLLL!

Now, what type of evil?

Maybe the brooding dude who only has two lines involving the word "Master," but who knows all sorts of cool ninja skills?
Darth Naul: saying "Master," "revenge," and "OUCH I JUST GOT CUT IN HALF" alot, and having awesome horns, facepaint, and ninja skils.

Or what about the guy who gets manipulated into becoming evil?
Darth Natotater: saying "I am your father," and "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" alot. Oh, and wearing a helmet.

Or maybe the mastermind behind all of the evilness?
Darth Natious: manipulating people. And saying "no...no...NO...YOU WILL DIE!" and "UNLIMITED POWAHHHH!" alot.





So many choices.

On the Topic of the New Word Verifications

The word verifs have become increasingly more word-like as of late. I am here to reveal the definitions of these verifications for those of you bamboozled by what the word "bunogam" means, as all of the following are real words. Fun Fact: Did you know that the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary?

1. falankst (fuh-lanxst)

n. complete anxst; teenager-ness

2. jactin (jack-tin)

n. a tin can in which all described as a donkey (see J) are placed

3. villmos (vill-mose)

n. the emotion that prompts villainy

4. reticl (ret-ick-uhl)

n. an aiming device

5. tyliv (tie-livv)

n. what keeps you alive in a situation where you should, by all means, be DEAD

6. innkism (in-kiz-m)

n. a statement one would hear in an inn

7. crousen (croo-zin)

n. going fast

8. Carfodepp (kar-foe-depp)

n. Johnny Depp’s car of choice

9. ineati (in-ee-tee)

Adj. being in Steven Spielberg’s “E.T.: The Extraterrestrial”

10. affal (ahh-full)

Adj. full of “AHHHH!”

11. ocisms (oh-sizz-ums)

n. an expression used in da ‘hood

12. imphogod (im-foe-god)

n. what someone in da ‘hood says to describe someone with a lot of knowledge

13. Iniantli (in-ee-ant-lee)

n. a city located in anthill #287694-F, Africa

14. inting (ent-ing)

v. taking four hours to say “hello” in Entish

15. kaimit (kie-mitt) or (kay-mitt)

v. to make a commitment in da ‘hood

16. iMaker (eye-may-kurr)

n. Apple’s new program with which people make things

17. bucul (boo-cool)

n. the African way of saying “be cool”

18. Phroure (frow-er)

n. a shower that comes with a free Philly cheese steak sandwich

19. uneudeas (you-new-dee-uhss)

n. the dyslexic way of saying “new ideas”

20. Muslya (mooz-lee-uh)

n. the land of the Muslims

21. enoide (ee-noyd)

Adj. annoyed over the internet

22. ingnon (eeng-non)

n. a Chinese term of endearment

23. dingerb (deeng-erb)

n. a plant that dings when you shove it up your nose

24. shall (shall)

n. will in the future

25. thnen (thuh-nen)

n. the Elvish term for “did you see that freaking jerk just cut me off”

26. choshom (choe-shahm)

n. Native American term for the above statement, plus: “get ready to eat my dust, you moron”

27. fusheces (foo-she-sees)

n. the African term for the scientific term for intestinal excretions

Copyright © 2009 Merriam-Webster, Inc.

I am officially desperate for video games.

I have reverted to and beaten Amber: Journeys Beyond in three days of play. This Windows 95 PC game has amazing graphics, even for our time, but most of the time, nothing moves. I repeat:

YOU CANNOT INTERACT WITH MOVING OBJECTS.

So, basically, its about you going to check on Roxy, a paranormal scientist, who lives at an old house because of its reputation for being haunted. When you arrive at the house IN A CUTSCENE, a giggling water apparition drives you into the freaking lake. Somehow, you start off on dry land, with the car still in the water. Roxy's in the garage, hooked up to a psychedelic ghost-world headset, unconcious, and, apparently, you have to send ghosts into the freaking beyond JUST TO TURN OFF THE HEADSET.

From then on it's future technology according to 1996, ghostie spooks, rooms flooding as you watch through a surveillance camera, but being perfectly dry when you click your way up the stairs and into it, using weed killer that completely pixel-dissolves weeds in, like, 2 frames, cheating by looking up a walkthrough online because you can't figure out what THE HECK to do with a radio that blares 1940's music...

And then dying.

And then basically being told to get the heck out of the beyond, and being told the password to Roxy's computer before you go (are all ghosts good hackers?).

And then using the computer to get the headset ready to shut off.

And then sticking the new, even more psychedelic headset you've been using on Roxy's old one, sprinting out of the garage (CUTSCENE), then watching the garage blow up with Roxy in it.

And then she walks out of the smoke unscathed (Roxy was filmed for this... cheaters.), and asks you where you parked the freaking car.

THE END.

TAH DAH!

FIN.

HAVE A NICE REST OF YOUR LIFE BEING UNSATISFIED WITH THE ENDING OF A GAME YOU WORKED YOUR BUTT OFF TO FINISH.

Woopity-freakin'-doo.

Twi-Wipe

Why?

Why?!

WHY?!!

My mother is a Twie-hard, a Fanpire. I will rue the day that all four books are neatly placed on our bookshelf next to the Harry Potter series.

First I'm denied a Harry Potter movie, now THIS? How ironic that the series I dislike the most is placed next to my favorite, and by my own mother, who has read the first two volumes and is currently reading Eclipse, and has seen the Twilight movie. Why, I ask, is it, that every single girl and gay boy has read the entire series and seen the movie? WHY?

ARGH.

If all the toilet paper in the world was burned and could not be replenished...

wait. Scratch that.

If there was no toilet paper in the house, I would...

wait. Scratch that.

I use Twilight as toilet paper.

Frickin' sparkly vampires.