Magic Mountain---CLOSED FOR SAFETY REASONS

Event:
8th Grade Field Trip

Location:
Six Flags Magic Mountain

Date:
Monday, December 15, 2008

Weather Conditions:
Rainy, chance of storm

Magic Mountain Status:
Closed

Field Trip Status:
Postponed

Replacement Date:
Unknown

"I need: A massage and a great hairstyle."

I Am: strangely attractive.
I Want: a delicious pie.
I Have: issues.
I Miss: Nor. Cal.
I Fear: the Mouth of Sauron.
I Hear: as well as my dad.
I Search: everywhere for the remote, and whoever asked me to find it is usually sitting on it.
I Regret: that I have pudgy cheeks.
I Love: being blissfully ignorant.
I Forgive: my brother for annoying the heck out of me on a daily basis.
I Ache: after playing goalie for hockey.
I Always: am awesome.
I Try: not to lose my marbles. Hey, where did they go?
I Am Not: a retard.
I Seem: like a retard.
I Know: everything.
I Feel: haaaaaappy.
I Dance: like an idiot.
I Dream: about being Harry Potter. (gotta lay off the books. and the movies.and the podcast.)
I Give: hugs to those who ask.
I Listen: to Muse almost every day. (thanks, Di!)
I Laugh: like an idiot.
I Can't: eat delicious caramels.
I Write: to make fun of Teenage Vampire books.
I Cry: when I want to (I can force myself to).
I Sleep: rarely.
I Am not always: normal.
I See: a computer screen.
I Need: I need, I need!
I Should: sell my freaking Pokemon cards.

o-(* . *)-o

MY Teenage Vampire Book

Unlike some people *cough* *cough* *lockbox**cough*, I have decided to place a preview of my book, which currently has no title. Here it is in all of its preview awesomeness:

i. Another Teenage Vampire

I don't hate Van Helsing. Dracula was way out of line. I'm not scared of vampire hunters. I just don't like running from them. Okay, I'm just gonna say it: I am another teenage vampire. There. I said it. You know all about Dracula, the famous Count from Transylvania whose biography was written by Bram S. Stoker. He's the most famous vampire there is. He was a European vampire. Those are the ones that are majorly allgergic to garlic, don't show up in mirrors, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I am an American vampire. I have a reflection , have a shadow, love garlic bread, and can walk around in broad daylight. But the major distinction is that I turn into a vampire with a huge collar and a widow's peak. Nah, just kidding about that. But I do turn into a vampire. My teeth, all of my not-molars, turn sharp. (I'm ashamed; my mom's a dentist and I still don't know what they're called.) That's it. No red eyes, no "Bleh! I vant to suck you're bluhd!" at all.

There are lots of kinds of vampires. Japanese vampires, AKA ninjas, are similar to European vampires, except that they don't have red eyes, they know cool martial arts moves, and they are allergic to rice. Mexican vampires, Chupacabras, only suck goat blood, and are really hairy. They freak out if you throw beans at them. You get the picture.

You're lucky to be reading this. Recently, the Vampiric Loss and Apprehension Association of Detroit, (V.L.A.D. or Vlad, as most vampires call it,) decided to set what they called a "purge of vampires" into the water supply. They created an elixir that would kill any vampire who drank it, and snuck it into the water circulation. Six vampires died. Luckily, a fellow vampire, Blake Makso, created a water substitute, which he nicknamed H4V, (Help For Vampires). I managed to survive on it.

Oh, this same dude discovered that I have "negative mass," which allows me to change gravity around myself at will. In other words, I can fall up, down, and sideways. When Blake measured my mass, the pointer went down instead of up. Voila, negative mass. Blake also discovered, through x-ray, (this guy's like my 'vampi-narian,') that I have three optic nerves in each eye, so I can measure anything just by looking at it. No wonder I kicked butt in Geometry. Also, my bones are like Kevlar: they're bulletproof and will never break.

One last thing. My name is Zeke Peter White. Friends call me Zip, or Zipper, because I run really, really, fast. All right, let's get started. From now on, I'll pop in every once in a while, to give you some extra tidbits. Zeke out.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To be a bit like Lockbox, that's all I'm gonna show you. Also included are: a Vlad agent named Von Deutshman that Zeke has for a history teacher, a vampire with braces, and more awesomeness!

Thanks for reading!

Charlie The Unicorn

Hollow Weiner

I know you like Halo, but dude, get a LIFE. Actually, I take that back. I WANT THAT. If you love being a dork, dress up as Boba Fett, Master Chief, a Stormtrooper, or Darth Vader for Halloween. It's a perfect outlet, because everyone else will be jealous of your cool costume, and you'll win the Best Costume contest, and that REALLY matters. If you lose a Halloween Costume Contest, you're a loser, 'cause you didn't spend $5,000 on a video game character costume, and someone else did, and THEY got bragging rights, and YOU didn't. Sheesh. But I don't have $5K. I'm a loser. I don't have a cool Master Chief costume. If I could, I would. Believe you me, if I could buy whatever I wanted for Halloween, THAT up there would be IT.